Filth (2013)

October 16, 2013 by The Phage

I don’t often get self-conscious when going to see a film. One of the joys and burdens of being a self-appointed critic is seeing as many films as you can.. although the major cost of this is that sometimes you have to head out to see a film by yourself. That’s a taboo over here in the UK – just what kind of weirdo are you going by yourself? However, the only time I’ve truly felt such a weirdo has been when going to see films that are primarily aimed at a younger demographic (for obvious reasons), or when I was sitting and watching the ample bosoms of several topless girls at the beginning of Spring Breakers. Well, this has now been added to by heading out to catch the latest Scottish opus derived from the mind of novelist Irvine Welsh… “Can I have a ticket for Filth please?”… Quite…

Yes, Filth is an evocative word. To some it makes them think of dirt and grime, whilst to others it’s all about the carnal pleasures of the flesh. The Phage won’t divulge which side we come down on! But Filth aims to capitalise on its name sake by running through sex, drugs, violence… and a bit more sex; just for good measure. All of this is wrapped up in the somewhat odd and off-the-wall stylings you’d come to expect from a film that’s closest cousin is Trainspotting, owing to the fact that both of the novels behind the films were written by Irvine Welsh.

So, like Trainspotting, FIlth is based in Scotland; replete with Scottish actors. At the head of the film we have Bruce Robertson (James McAvoy) a detective that’s intent on landing that promotion. All he has to do is get ahead of his competition within his department. This leads to him systematically trying to destroy each one of them and turn them against one another so that he can secure his spot. But Bruce has many more problems than just his colleagues… he’s also got some internal demons that are determined to destroy him too.

Filth, as the name would imply, is not a merry little ride through Scotland. The film is dark, twisted and more than occasionally funny. What truly gripped me here was James McAvoy‘s performance. For me, it came closest to when I saw him onstage in London as Macbeth – he was ferocious and damn near unhinged in his acting. I like this. Some have said this is a reinvigoration for McAvoy, but I think he’s been doing rather well for himself as of late. He’s not been type-cast and hasn’t hit a rut, so I fail to see what other critics are levying this comment against if I’m honest! That being said, this is definitely one of his most compelling performances in recent years.

What I quite enjoyed about Filth was the style in which the film was put together. Like Trainspotting, this film isn’t afraid to cut away into illusions and delusions, or travel inside the twisted minds of its protagonists. This style won’t be for everyone, as it certainly breaks the flow of the film and removes some of that “slickness” we’re all used to with glossy films nowadays… but this is Scotland. This works. It works well.

To top it off, Filth has a great story, albeit with an admittedly bonkers concluding act. I’ve not read the book of the same name, so I can’t comment on how well it adheres to Welsh‘s vision. However, I have read several other of his books and it definitely adheres to the “Welsh-ness” of it all (that’s Welsh the author, not the country… I am well aware of the difference between Wales and Scotland). What remains to be seen though is how well this translates to the wider world. It’s telling that Filth‘s premiere was in Scotland (yes, it was a week earlier in Scotland than the rest of the UK), as it IS very Scottish. If you “got” Trainspotting and its glum look at Glasgow, you’ll “get” Filth too. But if not? Well, you’ll be missing out on much of the dark charm that is Filth. Like McAvoy‘s role in Trance, FIlth won’t be for everyone anyway. But you’ll probably be hindering yourself somewhat if ya dinne get tha Scottish tongue…

Filth is a deliciously dark film that’s as twisted as the name would imply. I wouldn’t go as far as calling the film “shocking” or “depraved”, because it could have done far more to earn those adjectives. What it is is another fantastic tale from the deepest recesses of Scotland. Although I’ve solely paid attention to McAvoy here, the whole primary cast is without fault and truly hold the film together to keep you entertained from beginning to end. Sure, the ending will leave you slightly puzzled… but just try not to think about it too hard.

I don’t know if Filth ranks up as the most embarassing trip to the cinema though. I tend to bumble into people, sit on their laps (by accident) and trip up a lot. But asking for “a ticket for Filth” did feel a bit weird. I’m not in Amsterdam, and I’m not staring through a peephole at some lady girating away; her dead eyes staring out into the middle distance. But then again, maybe they’ll finally adapt Irvine Welsh‘s Porno, which’d definitely give me more cause for an awkward moment with the cashier girl…

Phage Factor:

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

September 17, 2013 by The Phage

Nightmares and the realm of dreams. They’re not a new target for horror movies. Indeed, a certain burnt-faced man in a green and red striped jumper with a beknived hand got there a good few decades ago. But they’re still ripe for the picking, owing to the fact that we can’t control our dreams or where they take us. For the most part. Let me tell you a little story… You see, when I was a young Phage I used to suffer from extreme nightmares. Ones that would involve a car full of silhouettes pulling up outside my house and running at the building whilst Momma Phage slept upstairs. I would run downstairs and see them running and jumping in through the windows – they had no faces, no features, nothing. Just silhouettes. Similarly, I’d see images of beloved ones warping into demons and attacking me. These were relentless and they’d come again and again, night after night. That was until I learnt to lucid dream and control what happens. So I was able to talk to these demons and attackers. Once I did? No more of those nightmares. I cured myself of these insidious thoughts.

Whilst my advancing age has somewhat diminished my abilities to manipulate the dream, I can still become self-aware and know I’m in a dream. This has brought about a new type of nightmare… As now I’m in my head, but it’s completely dark. All I know is that I’m there with some malevolent force. Nowadays I find myself challenging myself in my head and trying to embrace this “thing” that I’m perceiving as evil. It sounds confusing right? You should try spending a night as The Phage! It’s an odd one! So… where am I going after this therapy-esque confession? Well, the original Insidious focused on evils that lurk in our dreams – dead spirits that want to come back… So, enter Insidious: Chapter 2, to pick up where the first film left off…

If you’re thinking about seeing Insidious: Chapter 2 and you’ve not seen the original? Well, you’re going to struggle. Pretty badly! This movie doesn’t make many apologies for this and plunges relentlessly into the plot. I’ve seen Insidious… and to be honest, I thought it was “good” but by no means this “great” horror that people laud it as. It had a nice premise, but lost all terror in the last third. Having said that, I do remember the plot. But having not watched it since its theatrical release, even I found myself straining to remember the closing 10 minutes of the original. I got there… but it wasn’t instant recall! Essentially, this film picks up immediately after the first – a little boy became trapped in dream world with some demons, his dad (Patrick Wilson) followed him into there to bring him home. But we’re not sure just what came out of that world, as an evil “old woman” was trying to get back to Wilson‘s body before he did… did she succeed? Well, Wilson did kill at the end of the first movie, so we’d presume so, right?

Oh, and if you’re wondering, I’d have given Insidious 3 Phages. Why? Too much reliance on my old enemy… LOUD NOISES!

And LOUD NOISES are very much in place in Insidious: Chapter 2 too. Not as many as there have been previously, but there’s certainly a reliance on them. Let’s be honest… there’s little in the way of true scares in this film. A couple of jumps, but that’s more due to clever framing, as opposed to genuine horror. No, The Conjuring this ain’t. I should mention we saw The Conjuring, but flew abroad straight away afterwards. Verdict? We really liked it – 4 Phages. Jeez, we’re writing reviews within reviews here aren’t we?!

I would however like to mention the humour. Insidious: Chapter 2 did have me smiling – for the right reasons. The comedic performances coming out of “paranormal investigators” Specs (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson) were brilliant. Truly, they were the highlight of the movie for me. The others? Well… they were there. Not bad, by any stretch of the imagination, but nothing too memorable.

As mentioned at the outset, I like the dream premise, but Insidious: Chapter 2 gets carried away with it and vaults back and forth between planes a lot. This, coupled with the unrelentingly forward-marching plot, makes for an uncomfortable viewing for the first time Insidious viewer… But even for the veterans, it all becomes a little dull. The jumps have been done before and the plot is quite linear. In the original the last 15 minutes disappointed me as they were anticlimactic, like the reveal in Jeepers Creepers. But here? I was just a little bored. And the hokey set-up for Insidious: Chapter 3? A little too much…

Insidious: Chapter 2 is pretty much on par with the original Insidious in my books… and I wasn’t bowled over with the original, like so many were. This sequel should be applauded for continuing the plot and being a true sequel, but it falls down in terms of horror and suspense. I enjoyed the movie more as a comedy than I did a horror thanks to the performances of Whannell and Sampson. But even that wasn’t enough to save the movie. It was passable… but certainly not remarkable.

Maybe I’m just not able to be scared by horror movies now, following my earlier confession about my somewhat bizarre nightmares that I concoct for myself nowadays. In fact, I’m pretty sure my dreams and nightmares are ripe for the picking, as they’re pretty warped and weird. Although I’m not sure how you convey the feeling of malevolent evil that I can sense once I’m in there. Maybe if we held the screening and announced that one audience member would be picked at random and subjected to the horror that is having to watch Adam Sandler‘s Jack & Jill on a loop for an entire weekend… that’d do it.

Phage Factor:

Pain & Gain (2013)

September 14, 2013 by The Phage

Getting big and buff down the gym is something that’s incredibly trendy right now. You go into your local health food store (assuming that my loyal Phagelings frequent such establishments) and you’re immediately bombarded by an assortment of lotions and potions to get ripped. Big and buff is in. Well, at least that’s what the practitioners believe anyway. I’m not sure all the ladies swoon over colossal, potentially roided-out arms and pecs… After all… we all know what too much of THAT does to you, don’t we gents? And no-one likes opening up their Christmas present to find it’s 4 sizes too small and doesn’t work… am-I-right ladies? Yeah… Ok, we can dispense with all this chat now and concentrate on the film… oh wait, this is actually one of the plot threads? Tiny, little…? Oh… ok then. Well… it’s all about Pain & Gain isn’t it?

Yes, Pain & Gain has finally landed in the UK after an enormous delay transferring over the Atlantic Ocean. Michael Bay finally steps away from the Transformers franchise for a moment to deliver us an almost Bad Boys-esque film about a group of guys that are big on gym work and big on getting getting rich quick. The film focuses on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) – a body builder turned personal trainer that’s tired of not getting everything that he wants. He leads a comfy life, but wants more… don’t we all? This leads him to the idea of robbing one of his clients (Tony Shalhoub) for all he’s worth. He brings in two fellow gym-bunnies in the form of Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson) and gets away with it… for a while…

The plot is a fairly typical “kidnap and ransom” affair, but it’s done nicely and kept me entertained for the most part. I’ve always championed Mark Wahlberg as the every man, and Pain & Gain does nothing to change my opinion of him. He puts in another solid turn here as Lugo. What did impress me more was Dwayne Johnson. FINALLY, we’re seeing him in a role that requires him to do more than look BIG. Let’s not beat around the bush here… he looks goddamn massive in this film. Dwayne is a walking advertisement for gym work if you want to get “big”. What I found refreshing was that his character called for a wealth of emotions to be displayed. It wasn’t all “mean and moody”, which is what he’s had to do time and time again, over and over again. His character goes through the most dramatic arc out of the lead three protagonists, and it was his journey that I enjoyed the most.

Credit also needs to go to the supporting cast, most notably Shalhoub as the kidnapped Victor Kershaw, who played his part with aplomb. Similarly, Rebel Wilson turns in another performance that adds to her stock of “crude and lude” characters. It’s not so much remarkable for that, but it was nice to see her humour injected here. Much has actually been made of the “dark humour” of this film… which is true, to a certain extent. The humour definitely ramps up at times, but at others… it all comes across rather dour.

Nowhere is this more obvious than the opening 30 minutes. The film is trying to align itself and bring the viewers up to pace, but it all just feels disjointed and odd. It’s as if Michael Bay was aiming for an almost Spring Breakers-esque introduction with lots of voice over narrative in an attempt to make it seem somewhat artistic and lofty. Unfortunately it just left me a little deflating and disinterested. Luckily, the film picked up somewhat once this intro segue had passed, but it still left a sour taste in my mouth to a certain extent.

I think this draws attention to the film’s biggest flaw: it’s somewhat bloated. And we’re not just talking about Johnson’s arms here. A good 20 minutes could have easily been cut from the film and it wouldn’t have suffered whatsoever. Those extra 20 minutes led me to become distracted at times and somewhat detracted from the film as a whole. Don’t get me wrong – it had a fun plot and one that kept you intrigued, but it never had you second guessing and wondering what might develop. It was all quite linear… unlike the contours of Dwayne Johnson‘s neck…

Pain & Gain is a solid film, but can’t ever be classified as anything exceptional. The film is held together by a compelling story and a strong performance from Wahlberg and an arguably stronger performance from Dwayne Johnson, but this can’t disguise the excess embedded in the film as a whole. The humour was there, but was deflated somewhat by the exposition of those trailers. Damn you trailers! You’ve struck again, you cunning sons-o’-guns!

Pain & Gain was pretty much a balance of pain and gain… but I could have done with less pain in this testosterone-fuelled sandwich if I’m honest. It didn’t make our Phagey parts shrivel and become useless, but it also didn’t make us feel on top of the world and massive. It left us like the average gym guy… kinda normal. But unlike the average gym guy, we won’t be giving up… we’ll be back… now, there’s a quote from a REAL gym guy!

Phage Factor:

Elysium (2013)

September 4, 2013 by The Phage

South Africa and I go way back. I’ve travelled out there numerous times, I’ve been good friends with people from the country and I listen to music emanating out of that country… you could say we’re good buddies. Or “brews”, if you want to pronounce “bros” in the local tongue. You see, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for that Afrikaaner accent… I can’t escape it. It’s a bizarre hybrid of Dutch and Australian to my ears, and I love it. But South Africans in movies? Well… they’re not common place are they? Ok, aside from Charlize Theron, but her accent disappeared long ago. No, the movie that really drew attention to South Africa in modern years that wasn’t about Nelson Mandela or diamonds was the sci-fi romp called District 9. The Phage actually watched this movie at the cinema whilst in Johannesburg… now that’s dedication to the silver screen, right? What’s more, we bloody loved it too. It introduced us to the winning combination of director Neil Blomkamp and actor Sharlto Copley. So when we heard that a new movie was due, featuring these two… well, we got all excited. That movie is Elysium.

Lamentably, Elysium isn’t a sequel to District 9, which ended on the most spectacularly melancholy of cliffhangers. Whether we’ll ever see another District movie, I’m unsure. Especially as Blomkamp now has his new movie, Chappie, greenlit by the studios. That film, by the way, is also due to star Sharlto Copley, alongside Dev Patel and two members of “zef” rap group Die Antwoord. It’s also set back in South Africa, so at least it’ll scratch my itch for South African accents once again…

But back on track, Elysium does not focus on South Africa, although several characters are from there! No, Elysium focuses on the slummed out Los Angeles of 2154. Earth’s an overcrowded, underfunded, disease-ridden wreck. All of the wealthy folks have fled the planet to live on an orbiting space station known as Elysium. A place where no-one gets sick, and apparently no-one dies! But getting there? Pretty hard! Either you have a lot of money or you hop on an illegal shuttle and hope that Jodie Foster‘s Secretary Delacourt doesn’t have you shot down. But when Max (Matt Damon) has a terminal accident on Earth, he tries to get up to Elysium to be healed by undertaking a kidnap job that lands him in a plot that’s far greater than he initially imagined… bringing about the hungry wrath of sleeper agent Kruger (Sharlto Copley) in the process.

Elysium is not District 9. To some this will be a relief, to others a shame. For me, it’s a shame. But that being said, Elysium is in itself not a bad film… in fact, it’s quite good! It’s just hard to love it when District 9 did so much right and was so insightful and clever in its subject matter. What Elysium does right is its beautiful cinematography, stunning visual effects and highly capable acting from Damon and Copley… what it doesn’t do right is… well, Jodie Foster…

You see, the problem is that her character felt forced and fake. Delacourt is a power hungry woman with a detestation for all of Earth’s humankind. But why? What’s the cause of this malice? Why is she power hungry? None of this is answered. She’s just a cookie-cutter “bad guy” with no back story. A good villain always has a back story… this one lacked it and also lacked much in the way of character overall. Thankfully, the “bad guy” mantle is ably picked up by Sharlto Copley as Kruger – brandishing that fabulous broad South African accent to boot. I’m a big supporter of Copley (even in The A-Team) and this again reaffirms my belief he should be cast more often. Maybe even by people other than Neil Blomkamp! Mention of course also has to go to Matt Damon – an actor that’s always reliable nowadays. Elysium is no different in that respect. Sure, it won’t win him any plaudits, but it’s a solid performance from Damon.

So what of my old friend, the plot? It worked. It has its twists and turns to add depth and intrigue, but nothing out-and-out shocking. That’s not necessarily a huge slur against the movie in itself, but it would have been nice to be caught off-guard a little more often. I think the film was helped along somewhat by the stunning visual effects – Blomkamp really shines with the way he shows his vision to the audience. Much like District 9, Elysium is gritty, grimey and shot in a way that really eschews the huge bombastic Hollywood-esque shots. Indeed, Elysium is easily the biggest and best “armageddon” style film of the summer – surpassing Oblivion and After Earth effortlessly.

Elysium again demonstrates why Neil Blomkamp should be seen as one of the true great sci-fi writers and directors of the 21st Century. In The Phage‘s eyes, he’s yet to make a misstep. It will come, we’ve no doubts about that, but for now we’re really stoked on seeing Chappie when it lands in a year or two’s time at the cinemas. Elysium is a gripping slice of sci-fi action, with solid performances from Damon and Copley. It’s just a shame it’s let down quite hard by lacklustre characterisation of Foster‘s Delacourt. But this can be overlooked… and should be, as it definitely merits a viewing.

So bru, mar love for all things Sath Ifrican is still pretty much intact, eh? Yassas, mar boy Sharlto really brings it with that lekker accent and die plot is bagkat. Essentially… Elysium is pretty damn good and deserves to be seen, whether you’ve a hankering for some SA accents or not… But if you do… well, you best start revising your Afrikaans nursery rhymes whilst you’re at it… You’re going to need it bru…

Phage Factor:

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013)

August 10, 2013 by The Phage

Some things get lost in translation. I’m not just talking about sayings and phrases here. Although the classic “raining dogs and cats” scene from Die Hard: With A Vengeance immediately springs to mind here. No, I’m talking more about humour, in its broadest possible sense. Each nation has its own particular sense of humour: some like it big and brash, some like refined and witty and some… just like hearing the word “poop”. As a Brit / Pommie / stuck-up S.O.B., we like to dabble with the darker side of humour and also love a bit of sarcasm and cringe-worthy inducing behaviour. We love it. Our TV series are littered with it. Some have transitioned to US TV screens (The Office, The Inbetweeners), whilst others haven’t. And I’m not sure why. But perhaps the forefather of all of these “cringey” British comedies comes from the mind of Steve Coogan… and that character is Alan Partridge.

Now, I’m going to take a few lines to explain to our US audience who the hell Alan Partridge is. You may be familiar with Steve Coogan (Tropic Thunder, Night At The Museum etc.), but not Alan. Well, Alan Partridge is easily Steve Coogan‘s most famous character (he did stand-up for years as different characters). This may get confusing… but hold in there… and remember Alan Partridge is a character, not a real person – but he has one rich backstory. Alan used to “host” a BBC chat show series called Knowing Me, Knowing You. However, this was cancelled, resulting in his fall from grace. He then ended up presenting radio in a small region of the UK called Norfolk; always fostering the hope of returning to television one day. So far, so good? This was all put on television as “Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge” and “I’m Alan Partridge” – a total of three series. That’s it.

But the character has returned time and time again, as he’s extremely watchable. Alan is neurotic, annoying, arrogant and a whole host of other negative adjectives. But we love him. I defy you to not go out and hunt down the old series and laugh at them. Especially “I’m Alan Partridge” – both series. So, with that rather lengthy preamble out the way… let’s get on to his first feature film shall we? Introducing… Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa.

We catch up with Alan (Steve Coogan) still presenting his radio show on North Norfolk Digital. However, the company’s just been taken over by a private equity group that wants to modernise the image and they’re looking to cull the deadwood. So either Alan or fellow “oldie” Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney) must face the axe… and poor Pat suffers. But Pat won’t take it lying down… no siree, he takes the whole radio station captive with the help of a shotgun unless his demands are met. And his first demand? That Alan “Alpha Papa” Partridge be sent in as the chief correspondent. What prevails is nothing short of ludicrous, but consistently and thoroughly funny.

In case you can’t tell by now, I’m a big fan of Steve Coogan and Alan Partridge. By extension, I’m also a huge fan of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. It consistently made me laugh, fully owing to Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci‘s script and of course, Coogan‘s Partridge. Every mannerism and quip is laden with humour and consistently had me smiling from beginning to end. Sure, the plot got a bit bombastic and perhaps overstretched itself at some points, but I just can’t pick fault with Partridge.

The humour is the pivot point of this film. You either “get” Coogan‘s Alan Partridge, or you don’t. If you tried to watch the television series all that time ago, or on Netflix, and didn’t get it… well, this film’s going to do very little to correct that for you I’m afraid. However, if you are a Partridgian… or whatever term you wish to make up, then you’re going to be lapping up every single second of Alan’s 90 minute outing, like I was. Even the bloody credits rolling up the screen will make you smile – it’s just that good.

As for the acting of Coogan‘s fellow cast members? All delivered with aplomb. Of course, Meaney‘s no amateur in front of the camera and that shows. It was interesting that the casting didn’t pull it any other “big name” UK actors to fill the ranks. It’s very much an “unknown” actor romp… except an always reliable performance by Sean Pertwee of course.

As for the plotting… well, I’ve set up the basic premise, but to go into too much more depth would ruin any surprises the film has in store. Don’t for a second think this is a high octane siege movie though. There are no rocket launches, high speed chases or elaborate set pieces. And that’s part of the charm of the movie… it’s set in Norfolk! Sleepy Norfolk! Nothing big happens in Norfolk, so why make up some ridiculous premise. It’s all laughably small scale, and that’s the joy of the film. It doesn’t rely on flashy gimmicks… it lets Alan do the talking… and frankly, that’s all this film ruddy bloody needs!

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa will delight fans of Steve Coogan‘s Alan Partridge. He’s the exact same small-minded, neurotic and arrogant guy he’s always been, and we love him for it. Imagine this film as Speed… but minus Keanu Reeves, and a bus, and high octane fun. But add in lashings of humour and an oddly charismatic lead. You’re probably some way there to summing up Alan Partridge’s first big screen outing. Once again, the Brits have proved that it really is possible to make a small screen character “pop” on the big screen. Jurassic Park!

Sadly, it doesn’t look like it’ll ever hit the US audience, which is a loss, because if you’re a fan of our British sense of humour, this film would delight you. If our (fantastic / superior) sense of humour doesn’t appeal to you… then you’re probably best off rewatching Grown Ups 2. I hear Kevin James falls over a couple of times. You guys dig that right? Fat guys falling over? I know – pretty damn funny… And isn’t Adam Sandler THE funniest guy recently? Oh, I know… tell me about it!!

Phage Factor:

Only God Forgives (2013)

August 8, 2013 by The Phage

According to the Bible, our sins can be absolved by repenting and honestly regretting those actions you’ve made in your life. Only then will God forgive you and allow you passage into heaven. Now, I’m no theologian (hell, I’m a Phage), but that sounds a sweet deal. You can do literally ANYTHING you want in life and get access to the easy (after)life. I always question this logic when talking with genuine theologians, as surely there has to be limits on the depravity that you can commit in your life. Stole a packet of sweets from the local shop when you were 6 years old? OK, fair enough… that can be forgiven. What about stealing the packet of crisps and force-feeding them to someone with a sweet allergy, causing them to get horrendously ill… still forgiveable? Maybe… But what about committing genocide with those sweets? Can that be forgiven? They must be some pretty bad ass sweets… that’s for sure. But the logic is flawed, surely? Why this lofty pre-amble? Surely it’s obvious? Only God Forgives is out… does it make me worship at the altar, or should it repent for sinning against my eyes and ears?

Only God Forgives is the “follow-up” to Drive, insofar that it stars Ryan Gosling and is from the same writer / director, Nicolas Winding Refn. Let’s get one thing clear here: I loved Drive. I thought it was powerful, wonderfully shot and had a great display of acting from all in the cast. It was probably my highlight of 2011. It’s a polarising film though, no doubt about that. For every Phage that loved it, there are probably two that despised it, or at the very least failed to “get it”. How does Only God Forgives look in comparison? Chalk this up as another polarising slice of cinema…

With the US getting this film a few weeks ahead of the UK, I was already (accidentally) primed for what to expect. Reviews flooded at me, and they lurched between “cinematic gold” to “crushingly disappointing”… But I went in thinking “I know better than those guys, surely they missed the point of the film?” After all, the moody trailers looked fantastic and I know what to expect from Refn… but I was disappointed. Brutally so.

Before I start tearing into the flesh of this cadaver, let’s dance over the plot. Only God Forgives follows Julian (Ryan Gosling), who works / runs a Thai Boxing gym out in Bangkok. His life gets flipped when his brother is murdered… after raping and killing a 16 year old sex worker. Their mother (Kristin Scott Thomas) immediately flies into Julian’s life and sets about trying to get revenge for her dead son. And the only revenge applicable here is “eye for an eye” – she wants the head of whoever was responsible for this. “Whoever” just happens to be a member of the local police force, Chang (Vithaya Pansringarm)… and he’s quite nifty with a sword…

It sets up like a standard revenge flick, mixed in with the grubby Bangkok underworld. It should be a gripping ride. But it’s not. Only God Forgives is not the film I wanted, nor expected. It’s a highly self-indulgent piece of cinema masquerading as art. The classic elongated shots on Gosling are there… you know the ones I mean: he’s staring into the middle distance and the camera loiters on him for what seems like an eternity. There’s also the occasional eruption of gore, as was the case with Drive. Then there are innumerable karaoke pieces that are meant to illustrate the current “mood” of the picture and lots of jumping and jerking around in chronology. All in all, it made for one bewildering and slightly confusing movie.

Now, the thing that struck me about Drive was Ryan Gosling. He wasn’t really someone that meant much to me back then. Some will gush about The Notebook, but to me – he was a nobody. Then we had Drive and Crazy Stupid Love… OK… I quite like this guy. But since then? I’ve yet to be blown away again. A lacklustre Gangster Squad, a disappointing The Place Beyond The Pines… and now this. Whilst there’s nothing bad per-se about his acting here, there’s also nothing to blow you away. He walks around a lot, stares into the middle distance and gets his ass handed to him on occasion. Indeed, I think the best acting in this film came from Kristin Scott Thomas as the boys’ mother. She was deplorable, foul and thoroughly dislikeable, which Thomas delivered well. But that’s also the problem with the film itself… everyone’s pretty dislikeable.

Every character is flawed here. There is no hero. There is no antihero, really. Everyone has an axe to grind and carries their demons with them. Hell, the plot revolves around trying to avenge the death of a guy who was a murdering rapist. It’s not a noble quest, and indeed the guy got what he deserved in The Phage’s humble opinion. So if you couple the flawed, under-coloured characters with the meandering, loose plot and sense of style over substance, you’re left with quite a hollow shell of a film. It’s odd that I couldn’t help but think of Guy Ritchie‘s Revolver at points, as that too was a case of a film getting too big for its boots and jumping the shark. It also placed an emphasis on neon lights…

Only God Forgives isn’t the film I was expecting. In fact, it probably tallies as one of the biggest disappointments of 2013 for us here at Film Phage. Maybe we held our expectations too high, or wanted a continuation of Drive. Simply put: this isn’t a good film, not for us at least. I’m sure it will polarise audiences, but there just wasn’t enough glue to hold this film together. It felt awkward and forced at times. Although it’s a misstep for Refn, we’re still eager to see what he’ll pull out of the bag next… just don’t let us down…

I bet you can already see the line we’ve been aligning throughout this piece can’t you? The ironic line involving the title of the film? Yes… I don’t know if God can forgive this film (ba-dum-tsh!). Whilst it’s not up there with genocide-inducing sweet deaths, we struggle to forgive this. Not that I have a God-complex; for I do not believe that I am God… I am merely a Phage. But in the cinematic realm, we have a high opinion of ourselves. But we will forgive it this one time… as we say… just don’t let us down again. Please? There’s a sweetie in it for you…

Film Phage

… for infectious film reviews

Category Archives: Review

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Only God Forgives (2013)

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